SoapToon: Adventures in the Highest Fantasy of All!
By Theslin Wanders-through-Bramble
Welcome to SoapToon!No other cartoon setting has as many flagrant loopholes and implausible circumstances as a single episode of any given soap opera--it's only natural that the two types of entertainment find their way into the same RPG! In the SoapToon setting, characters can get embroiled in an adventure, play for months, develop torrid love affairs, fight against the bosses of Gigantic Business Enterprises, Fall Down, be stalked by Evil Twins, and then wake up to find that it was all a dream--and nobody will be the least bit surprised! What possible cartoon antics can rival the insanity found in a soap opera?
Anger-Driven, Bitter People
Long Lost Anybodies
New ShticksMost characters in the SoapToon setting have shticks that reflect what they're best at--backstabbing, conniving and blackmail. Some new shticks have to exist to reflect these..."unique" talents native to this peculiar reality.
Irresistable Beauty (5 pts.)
If a character using the Irresistable Beauty shtick fails her shtick roll with a 12, she will probably be caught up in some horrible "Perils of Pauline" scenario--a villain might capture her and tie her to a train track, or some other nonsense will occur.
Obscene Amounts of Money (6 pts.)
Command (5 pts.)
StuffWhat would a good soap opera be without all of those little touches that make it stupid? Here's all of the things that make SoapToon distinct from other unrealities.
Places To Go
Pflugerville Salad Oil Enterprise
Chicken Crest stands are great places to go for a bite to eat, providing you have time (meals in a Chicken Crest stand have a way of lingering, as the Animator switches from one Plot Strand to another...)
The Other Guy's Enterprise
Things to DoThe Dull and the Senseless
Wictor is seeing Brittany, but Brittany is secretly in love with J. P. Eweing! Meanwhile, Sprokfield Widgets is moving in on LufJaw & Co.--how will you work this out, when you already are dating the owners of both Enterprises?
Who shot J. P.?
As the Fog Burns
J. P. Eweing
Note--J. P. is NOT a stupid Enterprise Owner! He always fires anyone who gets too close to the Top, and rules with a heavy hoof.
Beliefs & Goals: I've got to keep the Pflugerville Salad Oil Company out of the water. No-one, I repeat, no-one, is gonna take it away from me. I'm still the handsomest ram around, and cigars won't hurt me as long as I don't smoke them.
Hit Points: 8 Speed: 2 Muscle: 3 Break Down Door: 3 Climb: 3 Fight: 5 Pick Up Heavy Thing: 3 Throw: 3 Zip: 2 Dodge: 2 Drive Vehicle: 8 Fire Gun: 9 Jump: 2 Run: 2 Swim: 2 Smarts: 5 Hide/Spot Hidden: 6 Identify Dangerous Thing: 7 Read: 9 Resist Fast-Talk: 11 (!) See/Hear/Smell: 5 Set/Disarm Trap: 6 Track/Cover Tracks: 6 Chutzpah: 6 Fast-Talk: 8 Pass/Detect Shoddy Goods: 7 Sleight of Hand: 6 Sneak: 4 Shticks: Obscene Amounts of Money: 9 Command: 7 Incredible Luck: 5Wictor Newcatt
Wictor is the controller of Newcatt Enterprises, under his father, Wictor Newcat, senior. Wictor is powerful, and a little greedy, but otherwise is a nice guy. He tends to underestimate people, so any low-power Enterprise employee can sneak in and usurp him--Wictor always finds his way back on top. Wictor is a well-built cat with yellow-blond, striped fur. He always dresses in a formal business suit, and wears a Rolex which he can sell for a huge amount of money. Wictor carries blank contracts, rolls of $100 bills, and pictures of his sixteen former wives in his Back Pockets.
Beliefs & Goals: Don't let Dad make shambles of Newcatt Enterprises. Try not to fall in love with every female I meet. Always be a little paranoid, 'cause anyone might want to take over your Enterprise. Wherever I go, I can always cash in my Rolex for gobs of money. Don't be afraid to let people know I'm rich--they won't try to rob me or anything, 'cause I'm Powerful. With a capital "P".
Hit Points: 10 Speed: 6 Muscle: 4 Break Down Door: 4 Climb: 8 Fight: 8 (Likes to fence) Pick Up Heavy Thing: 5 Throw: 4 Zip: 5 Dodge: 7 Drive Vehicle: 6 Fire Gun: 9 Jump: 6 Ride: 7 Run: 5 Swim: 5 Smarts: 3 Hide/Spot Hidden: 4 Identify Dangerous Thing: 4 Read: 8 Resist Fast-Talk: 7 See/Hear/Smell: 3 Set/Disarm Trap: 3 Track/Cover Tracks: 3 Chutzpah: 4 Fast-Talk: 7 Pass/Detect Shoddy Goods: 7 Sleight of Hand: 4 Sneak: 4 Shticks: Command: 6 Irresistable Beauty: 8 (works on females, of course.)Wikkie Newcatt
Devoted (?) wife of Wictor. Generally, this slim, blue-eyed Siamese kitten will defend her husband against attacks on his character, but she has a weakness for almost anything she is even remotely attracted to. Wikkie is pretty, but not totally ravishing--she's just cute. Wikkie works in the upper levels of Newcatt Enterprises--an Enterprise so large that it just goes around, creating little Enterprises. She knows all sorts of interesting secrets.
Beliefs & Goals: Always let Wictor know how much I love him. Try to visit the gardener at least once a day (even though he's Wictor's Long-Lost Hairdresser). Whenever Wictor vanishes, I've got to get really worried, then depressed, then I can marry the next poor schlep who walks through the door. Never pass up a chance to spread a little dirt!
Hit Points: 7 Speed: 5 Muscle: 2 Break Down Door: 2 Climb: 8 Fight: 5 (Fences with Wictor) Pick UP Heavy Thing: 2 Throw: 3 Zip: 5 Dodge: 6 Drive Vehicle: 5 Fire Gun: 8 Jump: 7 Ride: 6 Run: 7 Swim: 6 Smarts: 6 (All Smarts skills: 6) Chutzpah: 1 Fast-Talk: 4 Pass/Detect Shoddy Goods: 3 Sleight Of Hand: 2 Sneak: 3 Shticks Purse of Many Things: 4Laurin Finmore
Laurin Finmore is the owner of Finmore fashion Designs--a small Enterprise, but one that always seems to be a nuisance to the Big Guys. Laurin is a lovely dolphin who always dresses sharp. She carries an unlimited supply of dresses, shoes and wigs in her Back Pocket--also a gun. You can never tell when you might need it!
Beliefs & Goals: Always play the roll of the Up-'N-Coming young Enterprise Owner. Never fail to show off the wide selection of dresses and ornamental accessories for Every Occasion.
Hit Points: 10 Speed: 4 Muscle: 4 (All Muscle Skills: 4) Zip: 3 Dodge: 5 Drive Vehicle: 4 Fire Gun: 9 Jump: 3 (a little better in the water) Ride: 3 Run: 2 Swim: 8 Smarts: 6 Hide/Spot Hidden: 7 Identify Dangerous Thing: 8 Read: 9 Resist Fast-Talk: 9 See/Hear/Smell: 6 Set/Disarm Trap: 6 Track/Cover Tracks: 6 Chutzpah: 6 Fast-Talk: 7 Pass/Detect Shoddy Goods: 6 Sleight of Hand: 6 Sneak: 6 Shticks: Do Businessy Things: 8 Quick Change/Disguise: 6Shiva Gnasher Shiva exists to cause difficulties. She is your typical Bitter, Anger-Driven person, though no-one knows what she is so angry about. Up to this point, she has limited herself to child-stealing, embezzlement, petty theft, grand theft, murder, arson, slander and various parking offenses. Shiva is a devious little weasel (literally--the lady's a tall, slender ferret). She has all of the hallmarks of your typical obsessive personality, and always looks a frumpy and tired.
Beliefs & Goals: I've forgotten what Wictor did, but I've Got To Get Even with him! And his little wife! And his little dog, Tutu! And everyone he's ever met! And that fishy character, Laurin! They all need to be punished for what they've done to me--now what was it they've done to me?
Hit Points: 10 Speed: 6 Muscle: 3 Break Down Door: 5 Climb: 6 Fight: 7 Pick Up Heavy Thing: 3 Throw: 3 Zip: 5 Dodge: 8 Drive Vehicle: 2 (Not that it stops her from trying) Fire Gun: 10 Jump: 5 Ride: 3 Run: 7 Swim: 6 Smarts: 4 Hide/Spot Hidden: 4 Identify Dangerous Thing: 4 Read: 4 Resist Fast-Talk: 4 See/Hear/Smell: 7 Set/Disarm Trap: 8 Track/Cover Tracks: 8 Chutzpah: 3 (All Chutzpah Skills: 3) Shticks: Quick Change/Disguise: 5 Purse of Many Dangerous Things: 5 Cosmic Shift: 4 Irresistable Beauty: 8 Wierd Science: 3 Teleport: 6 (Modified--she can only appear where she isn't wanted)
There are no plots, save that contrived by the characters. The best SoapToons are created by letting the characters shuffle through their Twisted Backgrounds, working together or against each other. Lost Relatives will pop in unexpectedly, Enterprises will work against each other, and Ninjas will appear unexpectedly to make things even more difficult--no-one will have the foggiest idea as to what's going on. Niether will the Animator. What more could you ask for?
Twisted Plot Table--roll at least once for every SoapToon character.
The Character's 1) Mother or Father... 2) Sister or Brother... 3) Maid or Butler... 4) Best Friend... 5) Evil Twin... 6) Major Household Appliance... 11) Is very, very sick, 12) Is working for a Game-Designing Enterprise in Wisconsin, 13) Is working for a Rival Enterprise, 14) Is plotting against the character, 15) Is plotting against the character's uncle, 16) Is raising raisins in Rhode Island, 21) Has been kidnapped by terrorists, 22) Has been kidnapped by misguided relatives, 23) Has been abducted by aliens, 24) Has been abducted by Elvis Impersonators, 25) Has been kidnapped by farmers, 26) Has been kidnapped by blind nuns, 31) Has become a Catchooloid cultist, 32) Has been replaced by an Evil Twin, 33) Has been replaced by an alien look-alike, 34) Has been sold to Gypsies, 35) Has been shape-changed into a hatrack, 36) Has become a werewolf, 41) Is visiting France, 42) Has bought Egypt, 43) Is living in Tibet, 44) Is being mind-controlled by a Voodoo priest from Out-of-Town, 45) Is scheming against the character, 46) Is living with a llama in Botswana, 51) Is being used as a test subject by a Mad Scientist, 52) Has become an exotic dancer, 53) Is now a model for "Cheeky French Maid" magazine, 54) Has taken up lion-training in Austin, Texas, 55) Has been crowned King (or Queen) of Mars, 56) Has been posessed by the ghost of a dead pirate, 61) Has disguised herself/himself as a mime and is wandering The City, 62) Is dating the character's Natural Enemy, 63) Has gone back in time to the days of his/her great-grandparents, 64) Has gone completely insane ("He thinks he's a fruit bat!"), 65) Has become a Game Show Hostess (or Host) 66) Has become a terrible klutz--drops everything, trips all the time, hurts himself on furniture, ect.But...
1) Everyone thinks he/she's Fallen Down. 2) She/He's supposed to marry someone really important--a president, rival Enterprise owner, or maybe a member of the character's party. 3) An ex-husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/drinking buddy/pinbal partner desperately wants to get back together with him/her. 4) Someone died, and he/she's mentioned in the will. Can she make it back in time for the reading? 5) His/Her Long-Lost __________ has been found, and it's vitally important that the two get back together again. 6) Roll Twice.Meanwhile, Our Character...
1) Has been kidnapped by 1) The Elvis Impersonators 2) Wants to join 2) The ninjas 3) Is trying to hire 3) The Enterprise Executives 4) Is being hunted by 4) The Secret Monks 5) Is studying 5) The Police 6) Is madly in love with one of 6) The Quiet Gardeners 1) Of 2) From 3) Who are hiding in 4) Who operate from 5) Who secretly control 6) Who protect and guard 11) Wellsville, Ohio 12) Pudukkottai, India 13) Fresno, California 14) Fresno, Ohio 15) Austin, Texas 16) Dillsboro, Illinois 21) Denton, Georgia 22) Elk City, Idaho 23) Ngaruawahia, New Zealand 24) Walla Walla, Washington 25) Xique-Xique, Brazil 26) Wynot, Nebraska 31) Skandenborg, Denver 32) Schwartzenback an der scchsischen saale, Germany 33) Truth or Consequences, New Mexico 34) Toto, Guam 35) Sneedville, Tennessee 36) Cactus, Arizona 41) Buffalo Lake, Minnesota 42) Bujumbura, Burundi 43) Bukittinggi, Indonesia 44) Kajikazawa, Japan 45) Musselshell, Montana 46) Parsippany, New Jersey 51) Nyack, New York 52) Ola, Idaho 53) Sopchoppy, Florida 54) Halfway, Wyoming 55) Occidental, California 56) Oats, South Carolina 61) Schenectady, New York 62) Sylvester, Georgia 63) Lake Geneva, Wisconson 64) Enigma, Georgia 65) Orange Grove, Texas 66) Des Moines, Iowa